Do you ever feel a lack of clarity and confidence, and notice how that keeps you from trusting yourself and your ability to create the kind of success you truly want—the kind of success that inspires and fulfills you?
There have been many times in my life when I wasn’t sure what I wanted or which path to follow. And that uncertainty caused me to doubt myself, hesitate, and compare myself to my successful friends, wondering, “What are they doing that I’m not?”
Ultimately, my confidence dwindled, and I lost trust in myself.
For example, when I was parenting young children, I was constantly consumed with “putting out fires,” jumping from one task to the next, and trying to keep up with all the “must-dos.”
There was always so much going on that it seemed like I never paused long enough to ask, “What is it that I really want?”
It felt like I was simply surviving parenthood. I had a fuzzy, general desire—or more of a wish—for more “me time” and more sleep. And that was the clearest vision I could muster.
You don’t have to be a parent to understand this. Whether in business, with family, or in any aspect of life, we tend to get swept up in doing everything that needs to get done—stretching to meet deadlines, taking care of others, and keeping everything running smoothly.
Working hard and putting others’ needs first often takes precedence over self-nurture and fulfillment.
We rarely stop and give ourselves the gift of designing a clear vision of what it would look like once we’ve achieved our big goals. Am I right?
We tell ourselves things like, “I don’t have time to take a week off,” “I don’t have the money to invest in a trainer,” or “I can’t start the business I’ve always dreamed of.”
We know, “Yeah, I want more money,” “I could really use a week off,” or “I want to be more fit and healthy.” These are vague desires—a starting point—but they won’t get you across the finish line to actually enjoy those results.
The problem is, we don’t realize that there’s another way. So we end up pitching a tent in the draining emotions of wanting and wishing—or worse, we sweep our desires under the rug, pretending we don’t want what we want.
We tell ourselves we’re okay where we are, or that “someday” we’ll get to it.
This is tricky because when we practice delay and denial, self-doubt becomes a habit. It makes decision-making harder and eats away at the belief in our ability to accomplish the things we truly desire.
In my case, I would often look to my circumstances for permission to give myself what I wanted. And my circumstances usually said, “No.”
This is called condition-driven thinking.
It happens when we allow things like our calendar, bank account, education level, the opinions of others, our weight, body size, or age to dictate what we feel we can do, be, have, and give.
So, what’s the antidote? What’s the “other” way that can provide us with direction, purpose, motivation, courage, joy, and exponentially increase our success?
It all comes down to a mindset shift: Vision-driven thinking.
It may sound simple or even insignificant at first. You might be thinking, “I already know this, and knowing it hasn’t made a major change in my life.”
Respectfully, there’s knowing about something—and then there’s knowing it.
There’s an art and science to thinking and living from a vision, and it changes everything.
When I learned to design and think from a clear vision of what I deeply desired to be and have in my life, that’s when everything shifted for me.
Vision-driven thinking is not for the faint of heart. However, it can change your life in beautiful ways.
Cynthia is a Certified Life Mastery Consultant and Transcendance Facilitator. Reach out with questions or comments at cynthia@loveyourlegacycoaching.com
